The Messenger.

A whole bucket of burdens were on my back as I got ready to teach the 2-5 year olds in first service yesterday morning.  I struggled to hold my composure.  I broke into tears a couple of times as I put things in place.  and again when  dear friend asked me how I was doing, "fine, just a lot of little things on my mind" I said, but the tears on my cheeks told a story more complicated.  I knew that I would enjoy teaching the kids this morning.  I was just trying to put those burdens down long enough to really be with the kids.
    I picked up the bible during snack and told them the story of the Angel Gabriel's good news to Mary.  Then I put the book down and asked them about ways they can talk to God.  "God can talk to you with an angel, that happens all the time, or God can say something to you himself" "If you are ever alone or quiet that's a good time to talk to God".  Then we prayed together and thanked God for all the things he gives us and I said, "OK now were going to be quiet for just a second and have a chance to listen in case God wants to tell us something."  I paused for 5 seconds maximum, thinking, "oh well this will be a good practice for listening for that still small voice".  When I opened my eyes a little 4 year old boy popped out of his seat and said, "I heard Him!"
 "You heard God." I said, "What did he say?"
He had the biggest grin on his face and he said, "It's going to be alright"

Tears filled my eyes. I think that little boy grew 2 inches from before that prayer to after.  You could see that he felt like a son of God, not disconnected or insignificant.

 A few minutes later I shared what had happened with the little boy's mom.  She said, "Oh Allison, He's been dealing with fear at night this is so important for him!"  Then she said that the little guy had also been frustrated because he had never heard God speak to him and wanted to so badly.  This was a big deal to this little boy.  To know that he was important to God and comforted in his fear.  I wish you could have seen his shiny and happy face!

After Sunday school I went home to pick up my little family.  A whole host of problems were waiting for me there.  I didn't make it back to church.  So many cares and worries around my neck I felt like I drown in my sadness at some points in the next 24 hours.  

When it happened I had felt a little badly for that mom at Sunday school earlier.  Bad that she had not heard this little boy's conversation with God firsthand, or in her own house.  Now at my house I knew that God had let me in on this conversation, because I desperately needed to hear "It's going to be alright".  It was a message for that boy, but it was a message for me too.  I am not alone in my fear, he is comforting me. He let me know ahead of time so that I wouldn't despair   He cared enough to send me the message like he did for Mary.  Only my messenger was a beautiful little boy.  He knows me so well, I love little boy messengers.

Thank you for seeing my through my fears and sorrows today and thank you God for my little Gabriel yesterday.

“The LORD confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. My eyes are ever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare.”

The Humble Stage

Lately there has been a lot of whining (and not all from me), a lot of tattle tailing and tantrums at the Keys' house.  I have been tempted to threaten no Christmas presents and sing the "Better not pout" song.

I have been decorating, planning presents, and creating special times with these kids, but no one seems any jollier darn it! I've been prayerfully disciplining, and yes many times yelling, and all the time wondering what am I doing wrong?

Jonathan, whom I love dearly, has been following me around chanting, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" five times before he will ask me for something, and then it is a puzzle to understand the question.

Wonderful Dorathea has hit another emotional stage.  She's been melting into a puddle of tears at the least problem.

To top it off I've been tearing up at every Carol this December that mentions Jesus birth.  "Am I just as emotional as my kids?" I asked God today.

He said it was, "Because you are in the Humble Stage".

I teared up at those words (again).  The Humble Stage.  I am herding small children all day, wiping mouths and bottoms, cleaning, teaching (ahem trying not to yell), all day every day.  When I try to add up the accomplishments of each day, they don't.    There are no more papers, or professional tasks to check off  my lists, the list is neverending now and there are still so many dreams I'm waiting to live out.

I am in the Humble stage of life. There is no glamour or prestige in parenting small children, (unless maybe your involved in Padgents, or have a child prodigy of some sort?).

Jesus was born into the humble stage.  He choose to be born in a smelly barn with animals and to make his bed in a trough.  And this was only the beginning of his sacrifice for us. Why was this important?  Because God choose to be like us, to be with us.  And he knew being humble was important.

"A man's pride will bring him low, But a humble spirit will obtain honor." Proverbs 29:23

Jesus was held by a woman like me.  She had an amazing calling, but in the meantime there were more boxes then she could check off.  She was the most blessed of all women and she had her baby seemingly out of wedlock, in a barn, away from her family, and she was so young.  She was humbled, yet chosen to do the most important work of all.  She had obstacles in the way of her calling, but the Lord was cheering her on.  "Blessed are you among women!" her cousin sang

"Though the LORD is on high, he looks upon the lowly, but the proud he knows from afar." Psalm 138:8

He chooses to be with me so it doesn't matter how anyone, even I see me.  He chooses to honor me for my sacrifices, my sacrifice of all of me all my time and energy.   My sacrifice of  prestige and honor as the world sees me for who he says I am right now.  

"Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come." Proverbs 31


So now I know when Jonathan does his "Mommy" chant  that this must be how rockstars feel when the paparatzi call thier names and pepper them with questions.  
And someday Dorathea's wealth of emotions will grow into empathy.  Empathy that God will use to deeply love and effect those around her.  

The best part is, at least this Humble season is full of play with my favorite two little faces.  I think Mary  smiled too looking at  the little face of hope that was resting in her love.   The humble spirit obtains honor indeed.

^"Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin," Zechariah 4:10